Giving Up the Cape

"I find it interesting that the very cape I tried to use to fly, became so heavy it kept me grounded." --Brook Noel

One day I was racing around town, errand to errand, mission to mission. When I stopped at my house to grab a few papers, the phone rang. It was a dear friend, so I carved out ten minutes to tell him about the hectic pace I had been leading for the past twenty-four hours.

The night before there had been a full-Wisconsin blizzard and I had gone out to shake the snow off my old rosebush so the branches wouldn't crack under the weight. While doing this, I heard a crackling sound. Looking up, I saw several sparks shooting out from a neighbor's tree. A wire, weighted down with snow, was blowing against a fork in the old oak. Realizing this was probably a fire hazard I called the fire department. The fire department asked me to call the electric company. I did. The woman on the other end said there were emergencies left and right due to the storm.

"But what about my flaming tree?" I asked.

"Well, we can't get to it until we fix the power outages. Would you mind just keeping an eye on it?"

"I guess not," I replied before hanging up the phone.

So I made a makeshift bed near the window using a few sofa pillows and set up my "tree stakeout." While I'm watching this thirty-foot tree crackle and spark, I realize if the tree were to crash down, it would go through our roof. Realizing this could be a disaster, I rushed upstairs to rescue my husband and daughter who were both sleeping soundly.

I shoved him, pushed him, and finally awoke him from his slumber to tell him the tale of the sparking-tree. My husband stared at me through his one half-opened eye. It's obvious he doesn't want to move downstairs and is more concerned with his sleep than his safety. Fortunately, after a little prodding, I persuaded him to join me in my tree-stakeout. I then rescued Samantha from her crib; she was about eight-months old at the time.

We took our perch and Andy made a longer makeshift bed for him to sleep on. Determined not to lose sight of the tree, I tried to stay awake. Despite my best citizen-watch attempt, I fell asleep. Samantha did too, tucked securely between my husband and me.

I awoke around two that morning. I glanced out the window. The tree was still there. Andy was still there. Samantha, however, was not. I shook Andy's shoulder. "Where's Sammy?"

"I'm not sure," he replied, shaking himself awake.

So we began our search. Samantha had just begun the rolling phase and had rolled through three rooms and was on her way, full speed, to the kitchen. Nestling her in my arms, I resumed my place in our living-room-camp.

Samantha woke up two very short hours later with a scream like that of an elephant seal. Knowing this was probably one of her chronic ear infections, I bounced into action with my cooing and cuddling routine. I began to count the hours until the clinic would open. There were four hours between the clinic, and an antibiotic, and me.

After a sleepless, scream-filled, four hours had passed, and a quick shoveling of the snow to get the car out, I ran Samantha to the clinic. There, my suspicion of an ear infection was confirmed. Then it was off to the pharmacy. Then it was back to the house. That morning a call had come from the forestry service. They would be coming out to take a look at the tree and wanted to make sure I was home.

Then it was off to my computer desk where I balanced Samantha on one leg while finishing an advertising campaign with my one free hand. Of course, the campaign was due at the photographer's that day. To deliver the campaign, I would have to drive 45 miles in a blizzard with a sick child, around the schedule of the forestry service.

In my rush to meet deadline, I forgot the ad as I hurried out of the house. So I had to-double back. As I pulled it off my desk, the phone rang. It was a dear friend asking how my day had gone. I informed him of my adventures with the tree, the forestry service, the clinic, and the campaign.

"It's always something," he said in a soft voice. Though I couldn't see him, I knew he was smiling.

"What do you mean?" I had asked.

"Last week when I called it was training your cat, starting a new book, and accepting a new campaign. The week before that it was making homemade edible clay with Sammy, giving painting lessons, and starting a novel while re-wallpapering the kitchen. Why are you doing so much?"

"Well," I paused. "I?um?"

"Yes?"

"I don't do that much," I said meekly.

"You're going to go with that?" he questioned again. I remained silent. Then my dear friend said four words that were a gift: "Give up the cape."

Shortly after that day, I began to-do just that. Instead of trying to accomplish everything and please everyone, I began to focus on what was important to me and my family. I began to accept that there will never be enough time to-do everything so we must do what is important. We must decide and take action on what matters.

Since I've discarded that cape, I've been much less restricted. I find it interesting that the very cape I tried to use to fly, became so heavy it kept me grounded. Instead of living up to the "shoulds" and "woulds" that bound my life, I live by the desire to create harmony within my family. It's a great cape to outgrow.

Participating in soccer, cleaning, cooking, sewing, working, party-organizing, PTA, and church choir doesn't make a person better than one who might only do three activities. Society has taught us that the more you have and the more you do, the more successful and fulfilled you will become. The odds are, in fact, that the person engaged in frequent activities is more likely to become haggard, frustrated, or burnt-out.

I think this is definitely an area where turning back to basics would do us good. Today, when making any decision, contemplate the thought that "less is more."

Your Assignment

In what ways have you been trying to-do more than is realistically possible while still staying sane? Begin shedding the super-parent cape by stripping back unrealistic expectations. Try listing out all your responsibilities and expectations. Then imagine this list was not your own, but that of a dear friend. What advice would you give her for leading a more balanced life?

Brook Noel is the author of The Change Your Life Challenge: A 70 Day Life Makeover Program for Women. Her unique program has helped thousands of women "makeover" all aspects of their lives. Learn more at http://www.changeyourlifechallenge.com

time management, CNET News, CA - Jul 2, 2008 By Caroline McCarthy – July 2, 2008 9:04 AM PDT Post a comment Last month, we reported that The New York Times would be expanding its online-media reach ...

Healthy Wealthy n Wise

Self Care and Time Management: How to Keep Your Life in Balance At ... Healthy Wealthy n Wise, WV - Jul 3, 2008 Sue never got enough sleep. She was lucky if she got 3 to 4 hours of sleep each night. There was just too much to do and not enough hours in the day to do ...

GamersHell.com Casual Games 06 July 2008 Gamers Hell, UK - 13 hours ago Use your innovative Click Assist feature and become the Craftsman of the Century in Build-in-Time, a Time Management quest. Need for Waves Online game. ...

AGDA Presents: Time Management Workshop TAXI Design Network, NY - Jul 1, 2008 Facilitated by small business expert Sandra Gillanders, this workshop covers managing priorities when one is busy, scheduling work to reduce wasted time, ...

Fiji Daily Post

EDUCATION - Time management is the key: Bole Fiji Daily Post, Fiji - Jun 30, 2008 TIME was an irreplaceable asset and every student needed to be reminded that every second counted, interim Minister for Education Filipe Bole said yesterday ...

A Time Management System Biz Plan Hacks, CA - Jun 30, 2008 Time management is an issue that everyone faces whether we do a good job of dealing with it or not. You would be hard pressed to find a person who could not ...

100 Days in Office - Menteri Besar Datuk Seri Md Isa Sabu Time ... New Straits Times, Malaysia - Jun 27, 2008 "He is very particular about time management. Even if he is late, it would only be five minutes behind schedule," said one of Md Isa's aides. ...

Rhinebeck Valedictorian Rachel Baker has no trouble with time ... Rhinebeck Gazette Advertiser, NY - Jun 26, 2008 Physics was her most challenging subject, and Rachel found time management a tool she needed and developed it throughout her high school years. ...

Extreme Time Management - The Windows Mobile Solution Pocket PC Magazine, IA - Jun 22, 2008 By Dale Daniels, Submitted Monday, June 23, 2008 Time Management. In a busy world, we hear about time management quite often. We hear business people saying ...

CIB: Poor time management to blame for project delays Introducer Today, UK - Jun 23, 2008 Construction industry workers' lack of training on time management software is to blame for the majority of delays to buildings projects, according to a new ...